I always dream to have a medium size home that I can decorate as what I want. I always dream to have home where there are few sections that can be used as family room, working room and guest room as well as prayer room. I always wish to have a proper store room with an organizer for easy trace. I wish I could have a rack in my working room so that I could organize my filing.
I missed to be creative as I were kid especially in decorating my room. I still remember when I used my baby bed that I turned it into a pillow storage as well as bench where I could sit on it. I remember that I used to transformed my room every 2 months just to have new ambiance of my room. I couldn't care about my sister's like as long as I like with the changes I made eventhough we were sharing the room.
Current? Is not that I am not happy with the home, it just too messy, small and crowded. A situation where you can't breath smoothly. I just can't have "ketenangan" that I expect when I get home. I get more stress with the mess I saw everyday. I'd rather stay outside.....I could get more "ketenangan" on the road by driving actually. That's why I am so happy with my current job as I could get my driving teraphy while driving to work.
By having my dream home I didn't say that I could get 100% happiness but at least there are some section that could give me some ketenangan. I used to live in an in order home, but now when I am not, I am redha, but praying so hard to be blessed been given a high level of patiens. and I feel so bersyukur because Allah gave me a lovely husband and daughter who has been very supportive. and because of them I am still here in my happy home. It is not their fault it just fate.
Sesungguhnya aku redha dengan pemberianMu tapi aku takut keredhaan ini akan menghilangkan keikhlasan di hati ini yang kemudiannya menjauhkan keberkatan yang Engkau berikan. Ya Allah tunjukkan aku jalan untuk aku mencapai impianku demi mengejar keberkatanMu ya Allah.